Friday, January 20, 2012

Smoke Your Way to Deathly Ecstasy

  Picking up the cue the bantering member shouted amidst din and laughter. "Hey! Don’t worry! Can't you see the cigarette dangling between his fingers?"

  The members hailing from all walks of life our club can certainly be termed as a true representative of the society. The members express divergent views on many plaguing issues right from Obama to Anna Hazare to scams and corruption and so on. For instance in our last session we had a discussion on current craze in India, Anna Hazare vs Corruption.

  The ratio being equal; a member who developed a sickening aversion to current events around the nation posed as to why the corruption has grown out of proportions in India and beyond redemption. He growled, “What makes them stink in corruption? Why can’t they be honest? What is there contribution in curbing violence, stirs and agitations around us? Are they rather not igniting them for their own ends? Who is behind unemployment? And what they have done? Just look around you!” He stretched his hands in desperation and sighed.

  The smoker took up his cigarette and lighting it up asked as to what his suggestions were then to all these maladies.

  He said that he is going to write to the Chief Election Commissioner and other concerned authorities to introduce a feasible 'call back policy' under which the people of the constituency has a right to force the resignation and call back their elected representatives – erring MPs or MLAs.  The smoker jotted down the notes and dragging on his cigarette he invited other members to add suggestions to that effect.  

  One member in a bantering tone said, "You first stop choking us to death; for we the passive smokers are more prone to death rather than you". And pointing towards his teeth he asked the smoker to stop smoking - as the large chunks of nicotine has been deposited on his gums and save his teeth and skin as well.

  Taking exception to this remark, the smoker took up the gauntlet. Amidst deep puffing and dragging, he started haranguing like a Demosthenes, which naturally arrested the interest of all the members present.

  Now hogging the limelight he went on reeling out facts and figures on tobacco. "Tobacco was the name of a tube generally used for sniffing the ground up Caoba leaves. Hence the name tobacco caught on. Yes, it caught on the imagination of the world too. It has become a status symbol with some! For some, it has a soothing effect on ones bleak moods!" dragging on his cigarette he added, “truly smoking kicks up ones emotions to the core bringing out the creative imagination in him!" Looking outside the window he lit another cigarette and took a deep drag on it – obviously for a kick indeed. 
  Outside the weather changed. The sky was overcast. Winds are blowing mildly. It might rain, he thought. Dragging on his cigarette he threw a glance around him, perhaps gauging the member reaction.

  He then continued, "the vicious campaign against smoking has been set into motion from day telling the world that smoking causes cancer, heart attacks and lunging damages to the lungs, tuberculosis, asthma and so on. Yet the demand for tobacco is ever increasing with many brands mushrooming around the world. The irony is India is the third largest producer of tobacco after USA and China."

  The smoker dragged on his cigarette, "Why, once upon a time in Russia you might have seen long unending serpentine queues for cigarettes, which you people call it 'the sting of death'. He paused. Now the markets are being flooded with electronic cigarettes. If you…

  Suddenly the lights went off. Outside it started raining. The gale winds are blowing much stronger throwing up the windows open with a noisy thud! Someone shouted, "Hey, the smoker is sitting beside the window, watch him. Lest he may be carried away by the gales! "

  Everybody laughed for the smoker's physique is very bony and skeletal.

  Picking up the cue the bantering member shouted amidst din and laughter. "Hey! Don’t worry. Can't you see the cigarette dangling between his fingers?"

  This threw the meeting into an uproarious laughter bringing it to an abrupt end. But no one saw the apoplectic expression on smoker’s face!

  But then the smoker was none other than Yours Truly...


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